Balancing parenting with working life
“They are less ambitious than you, don’t go down that road, you will never get your career back on track.”
“Don’t take a career break to raise your kids. Use all your salary to pay for help and suck it up for a few years, it will be worth it.”
This is a story about two different parents, trying to navigate a whole new world of working and parenting. *Real names are not used in this story.
Rachel and Alana both worked at the same company for years since young graduates. They were both highly ambitious and spent a lot of evenings and weekends pushing the boundaries in their career over the years. They both started a family at the same time. Rachel really struggled to find a balance between busy work life and parenting, so she requested a 4 day week, balancing some Parental Leave with work. The leave was approved and every Friday, Rachel spent time with her son. Between 10 pm and midnight on Fridays, she would open her laptop to complete the work that she couldn’t get to during the previous four days. She didn’t mind opening her laptop so late because she had the valuable time she could never get back, with her son.
Alana was concerned she wasn’t achieving enough in her current role, so she continued to interview for new positions and was hired as Head of Marketing for a start-up. She pretended she could balance everything but was stressed every day. She longed to spend more time with her two kids but was so concerned she would fall behind in her career, she worked all of the time and rarely spent quality time with her kids. She feared being judged, and so continued on a difficult and challenging track. She longed for flexibility. She felt an overwhelming sense of guilt every day. Her colleagues only ever saw a strong, confident and determined individual. They couldn’t see the guilt beneath the surface.
Both Rachel and Alana heard the above statements many times. They both felt guilty when they worked too much, and guilty when they took a break. The above comments often are fleeting misjudgments with limited substance. However, it can cut deep when someone is attempting to figure out how to balance parenting with working life.Many new parents organise their careers in a way that they can still work and still spend time with their family. It often takes a lot of grit, determination, and resilience.
What parents need, is flexibility. I would like to believe there is a place for everyone, to continue to work but have greater flexibility to manage life with a young family. I would also like to believe that if it is your choice to step away from your full-time role, to take on parenting duties full time, you should be reassured that returning to work won’t be impossible.
Recently, LinkedIn announced a change to the perception of career breaks by adding a new feature. The new feature allows you to add a Career Break to your profile, whether it is taken for full-time parenting, bereavement, care giving, layoff or other life needs.68% of women surveyed said they wanted more ways to positively represent their career breaks by highlighting skills learned and experiences they had during a work pause.This new feature empowers people to speak comfortably about the WHY behind the break and what they learned and achieved.
Every day can be a struggle to figure out what is the best way to balance work and busy family life. I keep the book ‘Atomic Habits’ by my bedside to quickly read a line or two to keep motivating me through extreme exhaustion. I know this is one of the most difficult times and for me, it is about finding little habits that help me through. On a daily basis, I find ways to remain resilient. Resilience is the only way I can continue to stay motivated and keep persevere through the tough days. Building quick habits into my daily routine to keep on track really helps.
Here are the three LinkedIn Learning courses I found extremely helpful when returning to work and trying to build that bank of resilience:
1. Returning to work after leave
2. Negotiating work flexibility
Follow me Trish McGinty on my return to work journey via my weekly newsletter.
