Lack of sleep post-birth
So you have just given birth, they don’t call it labour for nothing…..it is hard work!
You feel like you have just completed an ironman race and all you want to do is pass out and sleep for a week, not to mention the pain in your nether regions or the scar if you had a C-Section….but not to be, now you have to tend to a newborn baby!
The first night is hopefully not too bad, you are so elated after giving birth and the baby is getting used to its surroundings that you should both pass out and get a chunk of a few hours sleep at least.
If you are breastfeeding, as I was, it may be difficult if you are waiting for your milk supply to come in, getting used to the latch and feeding positions and trying to teach the baby how to feed. This might mean they may not sleep well as the baby could be unsettled and hungry.
It can also be a nit nerve-wracking, you have this tiny human beside you that you are responsible for, can they breathe ok? Will the covers go over their head and they’ll get into trouble on their first night? All sorts of thoughts and fears run through your head. Thank God for the midwives, human angels that they are … and particularly those who work the night shifts!
I was in a semi-private ward with five other women and babies for both births and both times around the hardest part is the second night.
For me this is the night that you really need a good sleep, but you are also a lot more aware of your surroundings at this stage. Your baby could be sleeping fine for portions of the night but other people’s babies are wailing, you are so frail that all you want to do is rest, it’s hard on that second night.
But, there is benefit from the sisterhood of being in a ward with other mums as you hear them struggling or asking questions or you give each other a knowing smile or a nod, you understand the pure joy of the first shower post birth …. probably the nicest shower of your life!
So you weigh up in your head the pros and cons of being stuck beside this other woman’s wailing baby with nothing protecting your ears except a curtain sheet. You can’t put in earplugs as you need to hear your baby breathing beside you but in the end, the companionship and comfort that comes from being in a ward with other mums going through the same thing I thought was really helpful.
I love sleeping on my tummy and obviously couldn’t do that during pregnancy so post-birth all I wanted to do was pass out on my tummy but would you believe I found I was too long for the bed….all 5’8 of me! The beds are designed for people to be on their back or side, so my feet ended up sticking out the end!
I remember wishing my husband could just stay and look after the baby so I could sleep and recover. I admit I resented him getting to go home and rest, but I also remember the guilt on his face seeing how much I was struggling with being so tired and overwhelmed, trying to breastfeed, the pain of my stitches, being helped to the toilet and feeling like a shell of my former self and he was not able to stay and be there.
In the weeks following the birth, the best thing you can really do is to rest when the baby does. You have to not worry about chores or housework and leave all of that to your husband, partner or whoever can help out … it’s easier said than done I know but remember what you’ve just been through and try!
I do think you hit a wall after about two weeks when the adrenalin high of giving birth and the well wishes and congratulations are dying down, you’re left surviving on three to four hours of sleep a night and you just feel like throwing in the towel and saying “I can’t do this!”. I found the second time around it was a bit easier mentally, I knew from my first experience that “Ok, this is a particularly difficult phase but In three to four weeks it will get easier”, but that first time around I thought I would never be myself again. I couldn’t imagine a time when I would get a good night’s sleep and could look forward to doing normal activities again, but the truth is you will, and you can!
